Not All Bad
by By My Pen
Summary: A new maid comes to Downton and everyone immediately likes her - including Thomas. Thomas's history is the great unknown and it turns out that Kitty has some too. Read A/N for more info.
1. Kitty

**A/N: **Okay first thing's first - DON'T HATE ME! The reason I say this is because my opinion of Thomas is pretty against the grain. In fact, I think it's probably safe to say that I don't know _anyone_ that agrees with me.

And now you're thinking, "What, pray, is your opinion?", am I right? Something along those lines. Well, here goes: I think Thomas is _not _a bad person, merely screwed over by life and is now bitter and takes it out on everyone else. WAIT, WAIT - LEMME EXPLAIN. So a gay man in the early 1900s - he would have been so completely rejected and abused by society that it's hard to imagine these days. Now, I know that he did some terrible things - and frankly I will _never _forgive him for treating dear William like shit - but he's also done some good things.

Yeeeaa-no...is what you're thinking, right? Well we all know that he's starting to soften towards the end of the second series - don't deny it, he definitely is. But what about his ordeal with Lieutenant Courtney? Or when he let Mrs Patmore pushed the ouija board around so that Daisy would go to see Mr Mason? He didn't say anything then. He could of, and probably would of earlier on, but he didn't. And let's not forget that he has been to war. And before you say anything about 'chickening out' let me just ask - did you go to war in WW1 then? I've never been to any kind of war, let alone the horrible trench warfare of the first and second world wars. I can't say how I would have acted. Actually, I'm kind of annoyed that they let it happen like that. They should have injured him properly, _then _sent him home. But I've never been shot through the hand, either, so there we go.

Okay so I'm expecting a whole bunch of abuse now, before you've even read the story. In case anyone still cares, it's set after the christmas special. I wanted someone to get under Thomas's skin and release any niceness left after years of bitterness. That's why I made it a woman, not a man. This doesn't mean I have problems with it being a man, I just wanted a gentle woman's touch haha. There will be a man later on, I imagine. Because, as we all know, there is no longer a footman while Thomas is his Lordship's valet. Keep an open mind when reading, that is all I ask.

Wow, this is possible the longest author's note I've ever written. I shan't delay any longer - on with the show:

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><p>Kitty Jones nervously followed the head house maid, Anna, around Downton Abbey, learning her duties. The last house she had worked in was significantly smaller than this one and had only had two people living in it. Her duties there had been much less and she was struggling to remember her new ones. Her expression must have shown these thoughts because Anna was quick to reassure her.<p>

"Don't worry," she said, "you'll catch on quickly and there are plenty willing to help you out. In fact, I think that's everything, why don't we go and meet everyone?" Kitty nodded, still a little baffled. Anna led the way downstairs to the servants hall, where all the servants were sitting down for tea while there was a lull in their duties. Sitting at the head of the table, Kitty assumed was the butler. Anna had already mentioned he was Mr Carson, and she had already met the housekeeper Mrs Hughes when applying. Mr Carson introduced the rest of the staff to Kitty and told her that Mrs Hughes would be taking her to meet Lady Grantham when they had finished their tea.

"Speaking of tea," said the kindly cook, Mrs Patmore, "would you like some, Kitty?"

"Oh yes please, Mrs Patmore," Kitty replied politely.

"Oh isn't it wonderful to have some manners around the place for a change?" Mrs Patmore said, directing a glare at the dark-haired valet. Thomas, Kitty remembered. He smirked back at Mrs Patmore then took a drag from his cigarette. He hadn't said anything when introduced, merely nodded in her direction. Kitty had thought him handsome but he wore something of a sneer and it was clear already that he wasn't liked amongst the staff. Miss O'Brien, the lady's maid sitting next to Thomas, glared back at Mrs Patmore.

"Manners! Huh, I never thought I'd see the like in this hall!" she leered. _Right_, Kitty thought, _now I know _exactly _who to avoid._ Anna showed Kitty where she might sit and Daisy, a kitchen maid, put a cup of tea in front of her. She thanked her and then turned to Miss O'Brien, who was questioning her.

"I can tell by your accent that you're not from around here," she drawled, "have you ever worked in the north of England?"

"No, I was born in London and lived and worked there until now," Kitty replied, addressing the whole table as they were all listening keenly, "but when my mother died, I decided the city was too much for me and wanted to move away to the country."

"And right you are," Anna gave a smile, "in my opinion, London pales in comparison to the beauty of northern countryside."

"Hear, hear," said Thomas. He caught Kitty's eyes for a moment and, looking back, Kitty couldn't possibly know what he was thinking. She broke the moment by looking coughing slightly and taking a sip of her tea. Miss O'Brien looked between the two before continuing her stirring-up.

"What was your previous employment, then?"

"I was a maid in a house a little smaller than this, and there were far less people living there – only two – so the work was different," Kitty smiled optimistically, "But I'm glad for the new and harder work. I didn't have many people to talk to then, either. No-one my age, certainly. I'm glad for the new company." She smiled around the table at the new faces.

"Well we're glad to have you amongst our number, I'm sure," Mrs Hughes responded, standing. "Have you finished your tea, Kitty? I can take you up to see her Ladyship now."

Kitty nodded and gulped the rest of her tea, standing up as well. "Yes, of course, Mrs Hughes." She nervously patted down her hair.

"She's very nice, Kitty, don't worry," Anna said kindly. Kitty smiled at her and went to fetch her apron off the hook. She didn't notice that Thomas had followed her until she turned, tying her apron up.

"Everyone down here likes you already, so you needn't worry about her Ladyship." Kitty was taken aback and stood gaping at him for a moment but she quickly recovered.

"Thank you...Thomas, isn't it?"

"Yes. And you're Kitty?"

"That's right," she smiled at him and was surprised by receiving one from Thomas in return. Then he stepped aside and gestured to the stairs, where Mrs Hughes was standing and waiting for her. She flashed him one last nervous smile then followed Mrs Hughes. Once they were out of earshot of Thomas, Mrs Hughes turned to Kitty.

"I should be careful of that one, my girl," she warned, "he isn't one for women and he likes to cause trouble."

"Oh, I see," Kitty _did_ see, "Thank you for warning me, Mrs Hughes."

"It's my duty as housekeeper to look after my maids." They smiled at one another then continued on.

Unbeknownst to the both of them, Thomas was getting a similar talking to from Miss O'Brien.

"And what are you playing at?" she whispered fiercely, "What've you to gain for befriending her?"

"So suspicious," he smirked "She's nice to look at, is all. Wouldn't hurt to make friends."

She stared at him disbelievingly. "You, after a woman? I thought-"

"You thought what?" he glared at her stunned silence, "Exactly. You thought nothing." He stalked off abruptly, leaving Miss O'Brien in his wake staring after him. She was nothing other than stunned.

In truth, Thomas himself couldn't explain his behaviour. All he knew was that he didn't want this new maid to dislike him as everyone else did.

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><p>"I hope you'll find Downton to your liking, Kitty," Lady Grantham was as kind as everyone had promised.<p>

"Yes, your ladyship," Kitty smiled, "I'm sure I shall."

"Good. Thank you Kitty. Mrs Hughes," she dismissed. They were almost at the door when Lady Grantham's voice stopped them. "Oh and Kitty? Welcome." She smiled kindly.

"Thank you, your Ladyship," Kitty bobbed a small curtsey and left, feeling considerably lighter than when she had entered the room. When she entered the servants stair, she almost ran into Thomas.

"Oh, steady," he said, laughing, "You've seen her Ladyship then? Did you like her?"

"Yes, you were right. She was very kind," Kitty remembered Mrs Hughes's warning, but she couldn't possibly imagine it to be true, looking at him, "Do you know where Anna is? I still feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken." He chuckled and she grinned in return.

"She's downstairs, waiting for you. You'll catch on, don't worry," he assured, "Although, I have to admit, I still feel like that some days."

"Surely not," Kitty smiled. "Well, I'd best get on. Maybe Anna can find my head." Thomas laughed again and Kitty decided she liked his laugh. And his smile.

_No, don't get involved, _she scolded herself, _you know what happened the last time._

Kitty spent the rest of the day bustling around after Anna, getting into the new routine. Throughout it all, Anna told her of the residents of the house and of the servants. Kitty was shocked and enthralled by turns and couldn't decide what to make of it all. In the end, she thought it was perhaps best just to keep her head down and try not to remember anything but names. But every time she thought this, her mind returned to Thomas, the dashing young valet. And every time, she reminded herself not to get involved. She couldn't help some curiosity though and so when they were finally allowed to go to bed, Kitty asked Anna about it, as subtly as she could manage.

"So Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes have spent nearly their whole lives in service here?" she began, trying not to let on her ultimate goal, "And Mrs Patmore. Miss O'Brien has been in service for 20 years or so? What about the younger staff? Like yourself. And Daisy and Thomas? I would have thought he was more suited to being a footman – which you don't have any of, I've noticed."

"I had been in a few houses before I came here but I've been here long enough to become head housemaid so it must be...golly, coming up to fifteen years now. I hadn't really stopped to think about it. Daisy _really _started from scratch here, when she was fourteen. She's worked hard and done well for herself, though. Working her way up with minimal complaint and plenty of abuse from Mrs Patmore," she laughed, "And Thomas? He came as a footman not long after I came on and worked his way up to first footman before the war. He left then, to fight, and was at something of a loose end when the war ended. He's only recently the valet..." Then Anna went on to explain the story.

When she had finished, Kitty regretted asking her about it for such trivial reasons and suddenly felt the full force of Mrs Hughes' warning from earlier that day. She felt you had to express some kind of apology.

"Oh dear, I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry..."

Anna shook her head. "Don't be. You would have to find out one way or another and I'd rather tell you it all now than catch you giving me pitying looks later on when you heard a woeful ballad from someone else. And besides, how were you to know that asking simple questions about the rest of the staff would lead to such a can of worms?" She laughed good-naturedly and Kitty was amazed by her strength and optimism in spite of it all.

"Nevertheless, I'll endeavour not to bring it up in cheerful moments, now that I _do_ know. There's no point dwelling on tomorrow's rain whilst today, the sun shines," Kitty replied solemnly. Anna looked at her with something in her eye that Kitty couldn't decipher.

"That's quite a philosophy, Kitty. Who said that?"

"No-one. Well, I suppose _I_ did."

Anna smiled. "Yes, I suppose so." She looked at Kitty just for a moment longer with that strange look that Kitty took could only see as not being something bad, before bidding her goodnight and turning off her bedside light. Kitty switched her light off not long after but she couldn't sleep for some time; her head was buzzing with information to process.


	2. Not a Morning Person

**A/N: **Okay I didn't get any hate mail and I even got once nice review so here goes with the next chapter. I'm assuming, by the way, that because Mr Bates is still in prison, and Anna keeps losing roomies, that they would be sharing a room. Oh yeah and I'm making it so that Daisy isn't a kitchen maid any more, she got promoted, so now she doesn't lay the fires or get up before everyone else.

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><p>They were woken next morning by a sharp rap at the door and a shout from one of the early-rising kitchen maids. Kitty groaned and rolled over so that her face was squished into her pillow. She made a muffled sound and Anna chuckled.<p>

"Not a morning person, then?" she queried. Kitty mumbled something into her pillow that sounded suspiciously like an insult, causing the older woman to laugh again. "C'mon. Up you get."

Groaning some more, Kitty slowly pushed herself to sitting up. She glared across the room at Anna, who was already at the wardrobe, pulling out her morning dress and looking annoyingly cheerful. Kitty eventually managed to dress herself and she was a little more alive by the time they came down for breakfast. That didn't mean she was anymore cheerful.

"Morning," Daisy greeted Kitty cheerfully as she sat down next to Anna. It took Kitty a moment to realise that she was being spoken to and when she did, she merely looked up at Daisy with bleary eyes. There was a chuckle from further down the table and Kitty turned, groggily, to see its source. Everyone else looked too, but from surprise. Surprise because the one who had chuckled was Thomas, standing in the doorway at Mr Carson's end of the table. He was looking genuinely amused.

"Morning, Sunshine," he said, sitting down next to her with a smirk, "Woken up yet?" All Kitty could do was glare at him, as fiercely as she could manage in her present state. Everybody else was still in a state of shock, so nothing further was said.

It was Anna who recovered first – she was just as surprised as everyone else but she figured it probably wasn't bad thing that Thomas was smiling.

"I don't think she's properly said more than two words this morning," she smiled at Kitty, "When she woke up, she grumbled at me into her pillow but I don't think there's much more she can manage." More people laughed this time, Anna and Thomas included.

It seemed for a moment as though Kitty might just recede into her chair, like a tortoise might into its shell. But then she sat up straight and turned her glare to Anna.

"I am perfectly capable of speech, thank you very much. I just don't see the point of articulating meaningless greetings and phrases, when all anyone really needs to say at this time in the morning are the bare necessities. In fact, until I've had a cup of tea, all I have just said is completely wasted breath. It was used merely to prove a point, not to convey any sort of important information. So there," Kitty then, rather childishly, stuck her tongue out at Anna. The whole table erupted into laughter and applauded, until Mrs Hughes walked in. At which point, the sound in the room returned to quiet morning chatter.

Soon, a cup of tea was placed in front of Kitty and she managed to hold conversation with Anna for a while. When Lady Mary's bell rang, Anna had to leave to see to her. Deciding she actually wanted conversation now, Kitty turned to Thomas. Who, she discovered, was sitting pleasantly close.

"See? Cup of tea and I'm a new person," she toasted her teacup towards him.

He smiled at her. "Did you not sleep well, then?"

"Oh no," Kitty shook her head, "On the contrary, I slept _very_ well. It's the getting up part that I have trouble with."

"I can sympathise with that – I never want to get up, good sleep or bad," he looked at her, seemingly contemplating before deciding to say what was on his mind. "Do you ever have those mornings where you get woken from the nicest dream, and all you want to do is get back to it?"

"But you never can?" Kitty supplied sympathetically, "All the time. Although, not this morning. I slept so well last night that I didn't even dream once."

"First day tiredness," he grinned, "I had one of those experiences this morning, you know. Got woken up from the best dream I've had in a long time."

"Oh really? What was it about?" her curiosity was piqued – what kind of dream would be the best for such a man? – but before he could answer, Lord Grantham's bell rang and Thomas stood up.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day," he was very serious and, for a moment, Kitty thought he might say something else. Then his face split into a grin and he said, playfully, "If we ever had the time in such a busy house, that is. See you later, Kitty. Enjoy your first full day."

"Thank you, Thomas. Good-bye." She watched him as he took the servant's stair two at a time, thinking.

Every conversation she had had with Thomas flatly denied any words of caution that had been given to her. For one thing, he had not said one word against her in her short time here. Granted, she had only had three proper conversations with him, but Anna had said last night that he was usually nasty straight off the bat, to affirm his stance to any new-comers. So why hadn't he been like that with her?

And there was another thing too. Mrs Hughes had said that he wasn't one for the ladies. Kitty was not a naïve young woman and she knew exactly what that meant. So how to explain the obvious physical attraction between them? Surely it couldn't just be her, could it? She had noticed at breakfast that he had actually moved towards her slightly as they were talking. And yesterday, they had been standing very close as they talked – a fact she hadn't noticed until she talked with others afterwards, who she had stood much father apart with. She reasoned with herself that she didn't have time to think about it now; she was far too busy.

Soon she forgot all about it because she was racing about the place, trying to complete all her duties. She met most other members of the family throughout the day and they were all very kind to her.

At the end of the day, she nearly fell asleep getting into her nightdress and could only give Anna short answers to her questions. She had enough energy to worry that she might be offending Anna but an amused chuckle after one of her mumbled answers was enough to quell that. Just as well; she probably didn't have enough energy to even attempt to apologise.


	3. Thomas Revealed

Kitty was at Downton for nearly two weeks before she saw any of Thomas's nastiness as described to her by others. She was heading to the kitchen to help Mrs Patmore make tea for the servants when she heard Thomas's voice. At first she brightened, wanting to talk to him, but then she heard his tone. It was leering and vicious. Stopping to listen, she could here the feeble attempts of one of the kitchen maids to defend herself.

"You stupid girl, look what you've gone and done," Thomas snarled, "Clean it up!"

"It wasn't my fault! You did that on purpose!" the maid returned meekly.

"I am your superior, that makes it your fault," Thomas's voice was dangerous now, "Come on, it's not going to clean itself up!" Kitty had heard enough; she had to do something about this blatant bullying. She strode into the kitchen determinedly.

"Thomas?" Her voice was quiet and soft, but no less dangerous than his. She really didn't have the ranking to do this but somehow she knew she'd have an effect. He spun at the sound of her voice. At his feet was a puddle of spilt soup and Kitty recognised the kitchen maid quivering nearby as Sarah, employed only shortly before herself.

"Uh, Kitty...what are you doing here?" Thomas mumbled, caught off-guard.

She raised an eyebrow threateningly at him. "I'm a maid, Thomas. The kitchen is where I work," her voice was becoming cold now, "It would be more appropriate, I feel, to direct that question at you."

"I was-"

She cut him off. "I didn't ask, Thomas. I merely pointed out the misplacement of your query," she glared at him fiercely, "I know _exactly _what you were doing here." Her eyes flicked to Sarah and she softened immediately. Sarah's face was jumping between the two of them in astonishment. It seemed the poor kitchen maid was having trouble understanding why a new, young maid with little authority should manage to intimidate a seasoned – if also young – valet.

"Are you alright, Sarah?" Kitty asked gently. "This bully"– she gestured to Thomas – "didn't hurt you at all?"

Sarah cleared her throat. Shaking her head, she spoke hesitantly in a small voice, "No. He just knocked the soup for the servants dinner from my hands, on purpose."

Thomas growled. "You lying little wench-"

"I _had_ hoped that what everyone was telling me about you was wrong, Thomas," Kitty cut him off again, "I didn't want to believe it...but it seems as though they were right..."

He stared at her defiantly for a few seconds. Then his expression changed, became almost pained, and he looked down ashamedly. Sarah was now openly gaping between the two of them. It seemed that Kitty had not only intimidated Thomas in an argument, but she had also won.

"That's what I thought," Kitty said, coldly. She actually looked fairly scary for an instant, then she sighed in exasperation. "Go away, Thomas. I'm not sure I can talk to you without biting your head off just now."

Meeting Kitty's eyes once again, Thomas looked – to Sarah's complete disbelief – upset and regretful. Kitty held his eyes for a moment but then she looked away and Thomas stormed from the room. Once he had gone, Kitty took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself before smiling at Sarah.

"Shall we clean this up? It wasn't all of the soup, was it? We can make enough for supper?" The two of them worked together to clean-up the soup on the floor and make some more before Mrs Patmore noticed. It didn't take long and when they were finished, Kitty busied herself with getting the servant's tea things together. After a while, she noticed that Sarah was watching her.

Kitty sighed, putting the tray down, and asked, "What's the matter?"

Sarah blinked, realising she'd been caught staring. She shook her head. "Nothing...it's just...how did you make him do that?"

"Do what?" Kitty frowned.

"Well...stop. He actually looked kind of sorry for it once you showed up. Not even Mrs Hughes makes him do that."

Kitty laughed. "Don't be silly – Mrs Hughes does that every time she threatens his wages." She laughed some more, to cover up her own confusion, Sarah joining her after a slight hesitation. Finishing the tea, Kitty took it to the servant's hall.

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><p>What she didn't know, was that Mrs Hughes had seen the entire thing. She had come out of her office once she heard the commotion, prepared to give Thomas a thorough dressing-down, when Kitty had walked in. She had watched in amazement as Kitty did her job for her and was still standing in the doorway when Kitty came through with the tea.<p>

"Oh, sorry, Mrs Hughes," she laughed breathlessly, "I nearly ran into you! How long have you been standing there?" Kitty was being cheerful until she noticed the serious expression Mrs Hughes was wearing. Her smile slowly slid from her face.

"Long enough to question what my job here is if I've got someone to do the telling off for me," Mrs Hughes seemed to have picked up Kitty's discarded smile and it grew at the same rate as Kitty's had shrank."That was quite a show, Kitty. Can I ask what your secret is? It could be useful in future."

Kitty looked down, still unsmiling. "I'm sorry, Mrs Hughes. It wasn't my place, I know, but-"

"Anyone that can stop Thomas bullying has a place when it comes to telling him off," Mrs Hughes interrupted. "There aren't many who can do that, you know."

"So I've heard..." Kitty replied hesitantly, "Mrs Hughes, I know you said that he doesn't...well," Mrs Hughes nodded, knowing what she meant, "but do you think – I mean, could it be possible, that he..._likes_ me?"

"Before you came, I would have said that no girl could possibly have that effect on Thomas Barrow," Mrs Hughes replied seriously, "Before a few moments ago, I still had some doubts on that score. But now, I think that there is no other explanation for his behaviour."

Kitty nodded, biting her lip nervously. "I thought so too. I don't know whether that's a bad thing or a good one, to be honest."

Mrs Hughes weighed her next words carefully; it was very important that she said the right thing here. It seemed that Kitty had a power over Thomas that no-one else did, but Mrs Hughes wasn't about to encourage any kind of relationship between Thomas and one of her maids without being absolutely sure it was the best course.

"Do you think you like _him_ then, Kitty?" she began cautiously.

"Well right now I couldn't be more angry with him than any other man ever," Kitty replied, her anger quickly resurfacing. It receded at the same pace, however, as she thought about her feelings for Thomas. "But, yes. I think I do, Mrs Hughes. And I think that scares me more than him liking me."

Mrs Hughes reached for the younger woman's shoulder. "Well, I'm sure I don't need to advise you to be careful, my dear, but I will say this: know that you can come to me if you need to." Kitty smiled at her gratefully.

Giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, Mrs Hughes said, "Now, don't be letting that tea get cold. Off with you." With one last smile, Kitty headed off to the servant's hall, where all the servants were gathering for tea. Both women parted with a lot to think about.

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><p><strong>AN: **So know Kitty has seen Thomas's nasty side, but she has also come to the startling realisation that she has a hold over him. What will she do with all this information, I wonder? DUN DUN DUUUUN! XD


	4. Avoiding Him Won't Fix It

For the past three days, Kitty had been avoiding Thomas. She was still angry at him but more so at herself. People had been telling her all along that he was a nasty piece of work but she had refused to believe them all. _Stupid girl_, she chastised herself. She had only just met Thomas; she didn't know him. But the people who had lived and worked with him for years did. If anyone knew who he really was, it was them.

And she dealt with it all by ignoring him. Which only made her feel worse because she was further annoyed at herself for not facing it. Kitty spent her time discreetly leaving rooms that Thomas was in, spending her tea breaks outside in the courtyard when Thomas was inside, or spending them inside when Thomas was smoking outside. It wasn't difficult in such a big house where everyone was busy to both evade someone _and_ do so unnoticed.

Mrs Hughes was the only person other than Thomas and Kitty who knew anything was up; no-one else had noticed, except for maybe that Thomas was more irritable than usual. No-one put it down to anything other than he was having a bad week and tiptoed around him. But the housekeeper had sharp eyes and she missed nothing.

"You know, avoiding him isn't going to fix anything," Mrs Hughes said, catching Kitty once again leaving a room Thomas had just entered. There were plenty of people passing by, but the conversation would mean nothing to anyone else unless names were mentioned. And both parties were discreet enough not to.

"I know, I know. I'm really irritated with myself," Kitty sighed, "but I can't bring myself to face him yet. I don't even know how to start any kind of conversation with him."

Mrs Hughes looked at her kindly. "Maybe you should let him, next time he tries, instead of walking away."

"I fairly sure he doesn't _want_ to talk to me," Kitty replied shortly.

"How do you know? When you won't even look at him?"

"Well...well...oh, Mrs Hughes! Leave me alone!" Kitty huffed and stalked off with far more anger than she felt. Because she knew, really, that the housekeeper was right. She decided not to dwell on it too much and busied herself with work, offering to do the harder and more time-consuming jobs. It seemed, though, that fate wasn't just going to let it lie.

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><p><strong>AN: **Okay, this one is short because I wanted to ask your opinion on something. Yes, you, dear reader. But first I want to say another thank you to the reviewers! I had thought that I'd just get abuse for this story because everyone seems to hate Thomas so much, so thank you for your kind words.

Now, what I want to put in the next chapter is a reconciliation of sorts. However, I don't want to rush things in terms of the story. So what I wanted to know was: (a) Should I have Thomas beginning to change and reveal to Kitty that she makes him ashamed of his actions for the first time ever? And (b) is it too soon to make physical things happen between them? Small things, like a hug or a kiss on the back of the hand.

Oh and one last thing - this thing with Kitty does not mean that suddenly Thomas is no longer gay. Kitty is just the one girl that ever had an effect on him, it's completely out of his control. It could apply to any one of us. For instance; me, a completely straight female, could only ever find one girl in my life that ever attracted me in that way or, alternatively, I could not. It's just chemistry and we have no say in it. Does that make sense to anyone _at_ all?


	5. Reconciled

**A/N: **I don't know how much I like this story anymore but let me know what you think. It was quite different before but I took on board all the advice I received and this is the result.

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><p>At the afternoon tea break, Kitty decided to take hers outside. And even though Thomas wasn't anywhere in sight, it didn't occur to her that he might, in fact, be outside already. When Kitty went out into the courtyard, her eyes were fixed on her tea, making sure it didn't spill. She only looked up when the cup was placed safely down on the table, and was met with the very face she had been trying to avoid. Forgetting about her tea, Kitty turned to leave.<p>

"Kitty, wait!" Thomas called. Thinking of what Mrs Hughes had said earlier, Kitty stopped but didn't turn around. "Please, Kitty? Talk to me...?" The sadness in his voice softened her some and made her turn around.

But, on the other hand, she didn't want him to think that she was no longer angry at him. She was still _very_ angry. She pushed haughtily past him to sit at the picnic bench where her tea had been left behind. She picked up it to sip it but, with the cup halfway to her mouth, she hesitated. Thomas hadn't followed her.

"Well?" she gestured to the seat across the table opposite her, "I'd rather not sit here talking to myself." Thomas shook himself and moved to sit in the designated seat. Kitty took the sip she had paused, eyes locked on her tea. Then she put the cup back on the saucer and put both cup and saucer down, slowly and deliberately. She only lifted her eyes when her tea sat firmly on the table.

Looking at him square on, she spoke. "That wasn't a very nice thing to do to Sarah, Thomas."

He was the first to look away, shaking his head.

"I want to be honest with you, Kitty, so I'm just going to say it: I have done, and still do, many not very nice things. But," now he met her eyes again, "for the first time in my life, I feel ashamed," he paused, speaking slowly now, "Because I like you, Kitty...and-and that's what you do to me." Now Kitty had to look away, the intensity in his eyes making her blush. It made her feel strangely warm in the pit of her stomach to hear her suspicions confirmed. She paused for a minute, thinking about her next words.

"The thing is, Thomas, I like you too. A lot," she stirred her tea with her finger absently, still not looking at him, "But I like the kind, gentle you. The man I saw then was vicious and angry," she raised her eyes to find that his head was to the side, staring across the courtyard. In his face, she saw some of the anger, but mostly she saw shame and _that_ convinced her more than any amount of words ever could. He was genuinely ashamed of his actions...because of _her_. What he was saying really was the truth.

Without thinking, Kitty reached out and took his chin in her hand, turning him to look at her again. He was clearly surprised by this action but didn't try to pull away.

"I was disappointed, Thomas. I thought that no-one knew what they were talking about when they spoke ill of you. Because the man I knew was so far from their descriptions that they must have meant someone else," realising she was holding his chin, she quickly let go, lowering her hand, "So to see it confirmed made me so very upset. Yes, I was angry too, but that was more at myself for not listening, thinking I knew best."

Looking down at clasped her hands on the table in front of her, she tried to ignore the feeling in her fingers where she had touched him. Then she gave him a very direct look. "Prove them wrong for me, Thomas. Make me stop being angry at myself...because I'm right about who you are, I know it."

He nodded. "I will, Kitty. I'm different with you, I can't explain it. I just hate to see you disappointed in me. "

"Okay. I'm holding you to that, Thomas." They sat silently for a moment or two, Kitty drinking her tea and Thomas finishing his cigarette. When he had, he stubbed it out and met her eyes again.

"Am I forgiven then?" he asked.

Kitty made an exaggerated show of thinking. "Yes, I think probably you are. But I might not be so lenient next time." She spoke playfully but there was a serious undercurrent. He saw both and replied in the same manner.

"I understand."

"Now that we've made up, I could quite easily to sit here talking all day. However, I imagine that our tea break is almost over," she grumbled.

"I suppose," he conceded. He stood, gathering up her teacup. She rose as well and linked her arm through his.

"I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder," she said, stopping him, "It was childish of me."

"Don't be," he shook his head, "It's strange, but I feel as though I deserved it."

"Maybe the first day, or so, yes," she grinned, "But not three." She suddenly realised how close they were standing and fear swelled up inside her as she remembered the last time she had been this close to a man. Her smile faltered and she stepped back abruptly, no longer touching him. Thomas looked concerned, and just a little hurt.

"Are you alright?"

_Get a grip_, Kitty told herself firmly. She put a new smile on, brighter and more cheerful than before, and took his arm again. His concerned look held for a moment, then he matched her smile with one of his own and they went back inside together.

* * *

><p>Mrs Hughes watched them as they came in, pleased that they had made up but concerned. She didn't know this side of Thomas, and she wasn't sure she was ready to trust it yet...<p> 


	6. Suspicions

**A/N: **Not sure how much I like this story anymore but I did feel I had to involve some more of the servants so here we are.

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><p>Mrs Hughes was sitting at her desk, going over some receipts, when there was a soft knock at her door. She called out for whoever it was to come in and the door opened to reveal Downton's butler.<p>

"Ah, Mr Carson."

"Mrs Hughes," he nodded, shutting the door behind him. When he turned back to her, Mrs Hughes saw for the first time the grave expression on his face.

"Whatever's the matter, Mr Carson? You look as though there's been a murder!" she exclaimed.

Moving to sit down, Mr Carson began, face still grave. "It's...well, it's Thomas."

"Ah," Mrs Hughes nodded. She had been wondering when this conversation might happen.

"Well I won't insult you by asking if you've noticed the interactions between Kitty and Thomas. A blind man would notice it, let alone a sharp-eyed housekeeper."

"I thank you for that, Mr Carson," she replied, "but what you really want to talk about is the possible consequences of these 'interactions'; be they good or bad."

"Yes," he agreed, "On the one hand, Thomas is changing for the better and I have no complaints there. But..."

"But, indeed. But what if they have a fight? What if she breaks it off with him and he doesn't like it? Do we suffer for it?" she shook her head, "Do we even know if any of this is genuine? Will she get hurt?"

"I think you'll agree with me that there are too many uncertainties there, Mrs Hughes," he looked at her, "You've brought up all of my concerns and some. So what do we do?"

Mrs Hughes held up her palms in a half-shrug. "At the moment, we have no real reason to step in. All we can do is keep an eye on the pair of them. I've already spoken to her a few times but I don't know how to approach him. And no offence Mr Carson, but you wouldn't be the best person for that job."

Mr Carson laughed shortly. "No offence taken; I quite agree. Thomas and I are not on good terms. And despite his apparent change in temper, I shouldn't imagine he'll take kindly to my interfering."

"So who do we ask?"

Just then there was a knock at the door and when Mrs Hughes bid them to come in, Miss O'Brien opened the door.

"Mrs Hughes. Mr Carson," she nodded to each in turn.

"What's the matter, Miss O'Brien?" Mrs Hughes asked.

"Well, it's just...I know it's not my place but I wanted to bring up the topic of Thomas and Kitty..."

Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson shared a significant look before she turned back to the lady's maid.

"Come in and sit down, Miss O'Brien. We wanted to talk to you about that, actually..."

* * *

><p>It felt like forever since Miss O'Brien had last gone out into the courtyard with Thomas to discuss whatever plan they had going, under the pretence of smoking. And, she supposed, that wasn't really what they were doing, even now. She was concerned for him, under the pretence of nosily snooping. Thomas could tell what she wanted to talk about, even as she asked him to join her for a smoke, but he didn't instigate the conversation. He just waited for her to start. After a few moments of heavy silence, she did.<p>

"Are you going to tell me what's going on then?"

"Going on? What do you mean?" he took a drag from the cigarette, knowing exactly what she meant. But he didn't want to talk about it unless she completely spelled it out. And even then, he didn't plan to tell her much.

"Do I have to say it?"

"Yes."

She glared at his smirk at he took another drag on the cigarette.

"Alright," she snapped, "You and Kitty – what's that all about?"

"Well you're a woman of the world, Miss O'Brien. I'm sure you know what attentions of a man to a woman are all about," he replied, much to Miss O'Brien's frustration.

"Well maybe, but it's not about the birds and the bees with you, is it? People don't just change their ways all of a sudden like that, do they?" she spoke in a low tone but her voice was still fierce, "So what's going on? Have you got some plan going that I don't know about?"

"You're right, of course," he dropped his cigarette and squashed it with his foot. Miss O'Brien gave a self-satisfied smile for a moment but then he turned to her with an angry gleam in his eye and the smile disappeared. "It's not just about the birds and the bees. Because I care about Kitty. And if that's so hard for you to believe, then I'm very sorry and more than a little sad. I thought maybe you had more faith in me than the rest of the world, but apparently not." And with that, he stormed back inside.

Mrs Hughes stared at him as he passed her where she stood in the doorway of her sitting room. Looking back at the door to the courtyard, she was met with by a disbelieving and slightly struck look from Miss O'Brien.

* * *

><p>Kitty smiled up at Thomas as he came to sit next to her but her smile quickly faded when she saw the storm clouds gathering across his face. Forehead wrinkling with concern, she reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.<p>

"What is it?" she asked. He turned to her and immediately his expression softened.

"Nothing," he smiled reassuringly, "Just got a bit wound up over some misplaced concern."

Kitty was in no way satisfied with this answer but she didn't press it. She simply turned the conversation to a lighter topic. But she didn't miss Thomas's glance across the table at Miss O'Brien as the lady's maid sat down. Nor did she miss it when the woman met the housekeeper's eyes and shook her head slightly.

Every now and then, throughout the remainder of the day, Kitty caught a flash of anger in Thomas's face when he thought she wasn't looking. Suspicions thoroughly aroused by the time it came to retire, Kitty bid him a goodnight before heading to the housekeeper's office. The door was open when she got there but the occupants of the room didn't notice as she stood in the doorway, arms folded across her chest. The conversation continued and Kitty looked on, listening.

"He really said that?" Mrs Hughes asked the other woman in the room disbelievingly.

"I'm not making it up, you know," Miss O'Brien replied haughtily.

"We were not suggesting that you were, Miss O'Brien," Mr Carson cut in, "But you can understand our disbelief."

"_Your _disbelief?" the lady's maid scoffed, "I wasn't sure I hadn't just imagined it! Thomas – having feelings for a _woman_?"

Kitty had heard enough. While she was pleased to hear what Thomas had said about her to others, she was also very annoyed at them all for being so mistrusting and for thinking her incapable of looking after herself.

"Well," she said loudly, causing everyone in the room to spin and face her, "at least I know now why he looked like he could've killed someone all evening." And with that she spun on her heel and quickly headed to her room. She didn't stop to see the looks exchanged in the housekeeper's sitting room, but she did hear Mrs Hughes's quiet statement and was gratified to hear shame in her tone.

"Oh dear."


	7. NotSoMisplaced Concern?

Work continued busily and Kitty soon got into the routine, just as everyone had assured her. It didn't mean she was any more agreeable at breakfast and it certainly didn't mean that she was any less tired when her head hit the pillow at night. But she forgot less things each day and found ways of coping with her tiredness.

Kitty was also much happier since she had made-up with Thomas. As far as she could tell, he kept his promise and the cutting words and dark plots ceased. Instead of avoiding him at mealtimes, Kitty sat next to him and chatted away happily. They usually spent their tea breaks together in the courtyard; Kitty sometimes smoking instead of having tea; Thomas sometimes having tea instead of smoking.

She was still angry at Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson for using Miss O'Brien's relationship with Thomas to get information and insinuating so many negative things at the same time. But after a good night's sleep, it seemed Thomas had gotten over it, so Kitty elected not to bring it up.

At one luncheon, she hadn't noticed that she had sat down next to Thomas as she wearily sank into a chair. When she did notice, she found immediately that some energy had returned and she smiled up at him brightly.

"Hello," she said pleasantly.

"Hello. You look worn out."

Suddenly, Kitty felt very self-conscious and raised a hand to her face. She deflated a little when she felt the bags under her eyes. Much to her surprise, Thomas reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling it gently away from her face to hold in his lap.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. You look fine, just a little flustered," he assured her with a winning smile. It amazed Kitty that he knew exactly what to say to her in the right moments. Realising she was blushing, she looked down at their hands.

Thomas had taken her left hand from her face with his right. It wasn't until she looked down that she noticed he was wearing a skin-coloured glove on his other hand, the one that wasn't holding hers. She frowned slightly in confusion.

Kitty was very restrained about touching, for reasons she hadn't shared. Thomas seemed to know that and respected them, even though he didn't know what they were. So when she frowned, Thomas took it to mean that she was uncomfortable with him holding her hand and started to let go, apologising.

"No," she said, grabbing both his hands. She linked her fingers with the one without the glove. She smiled, blushing shyly, "It's not that, I like holding your hand." She held up the gloved hand, inspecting it slightly, "I just never noticed the glove before...why do you wear it?"

Thomas had looked pleased when she said she liked holding his hand but the mention of the glove made him look uncomfortable. "Oh. That. Well I got...injured. When I went to war."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Kitty lowered the gloved hand slowly, rubbing the palm gently with her thumb. Anna had said he was in the war, but never that he had been injured. "How did it happen?"

Thomas hesitated and Kitty suddenly realised that she had asked quite an insensitive question.

"Oh God, how stupid am I?" She let go of his hands and turned herself in her seat so she was facing the table straight on again, "You shouldn't have to talk about it, of course. I'm sorry I asked. Wasn't my place."

"Kitty, I want to tell you but..." he sighed, shaking his head, "I want to tell you the truth and I'm afraid that you won't like me for it..." he grabbed her hand again and used it to turn her back to face him. "Maybe...maybe just another time?"

"Like I said, you don't have tell me about it at all if you don't want to," she hesitated, then decided to ask, "Can...can I see it?"

"Again, another time. It's not very nice to look at and I shouldn't really bring it out just as we're about to eat. Sorry, but can we talk about something else, please?"

Kitty smiled. "Of course."

The conversation moved on to more pleasant things; the history of Downton, Kitty's friends in London, the time Kitty fell into the river trying to catch one of the dogs that belonged to her previous employer. Somehow, they each managed to skirt the topics that the other didn't want to talk about without knowing what they were. For Kitty, the luncheon ended far too soon and she was disappointed when they both had to get back work.

Neither of them had noticed that they were being watched throughout the meal. Miss O'Brien was looking on suspiciously; she still didn't know whether to believe Thomas, but she was beginning to be inclined that way.

Mrs Hughes and Anna shared a significant look across the table. The rest of the staff had finally begun to notice what was stirring but, while they were amazed by it, none of them were particularly concerned. Mrs Hughes, however, had known about it before anyone else and was still trying to get to the bottom of it. Anna had figured it out not long after and was equally concerned. Not for the first time did Mrs Hughes think that Anna would make such a fantastic housekeeper one day. When they met in the corridor later on that day, Anna brought it up.

"Mrs Hughes, I'm worried about where things are going between Kitty and Thomas," she began. Mrs Hughes hesitated, looking up and down the corridor.

"Have you got a moment? Would you like to come into my sitting room?" Anna nodded and followed the older woman in. When Mrs Hughes shut the door, she turned to Anna with much the same expression as she had been wearing at luncheon. She began by telling Anna the events of the other day.

"I know we shouldn't really interfere but I can't help it. What is Thomas doing? I have never, in all my time of knowing him, seen him act like this!" Mrs Hughes blurted out.

"Yes, I know what you mean. But it seems genuine enough on his part," Anna replied. Mrs Hughes shook her head and walked over to sit down at her desk.

"It's a sad thing to be suspicious of someone who is behaving agreeably, but I am. Very suspicious."

"Me too. I understand your concern, even if Kitty was too angry to see you meant well," Anna frowned, "But at the same time, I can't help but think she's a worldly woman. She knows exactly what she's doing but...does Thomas, I wonder?"

Both women were quiet for a moment, lost in their own thoughts. Then the dressing gong sounded and they were roused from their musings. Mrs Hughes was about to open the door when she turned to Anna.

"I wonder if you could maybe talk to her? I don't think she'd talk to me anymore and I just to make sure she _does _know what she's doing – and that we are here if she needs us." Anna agreed and they both left to do their bit for upstairs dinner.

That night, as they were preparing for bed, Anna decided to broach the topic with Kitty. Once again, Thomas and Kitty had sat together at dinner and their conversation had almost reached the point that Anna might call flirting. Yet, somehow, Kitty had simultaneously maintained conversation with just about everyone else at the table, leaving no-one feeling as though she were treating Thomas exclusively to her time. Thomas seemed to hang on her every word, no matter who it was spoken to. All this behaviour was unfathomable to Anna but she decided to try and decipher the young woman first. Thomas would need more time to figure out.

Anna watched Kitty as she brushed her hair in front of the mirror, trying to decide how to bring it up.

"How _do_ you do it?" she began cheerily, "Everyone likes you so much; upstairs and down. Even Miss O'Brien." Kitty paused for a moment in her brushing and Anna could tell she knew where this was going. Then she continued her brushing and smiled at Anna in the mirror.

"I don't think _everyone_ likes me. Everyone likes _you – _I couldn't even begin to make a scratch on 's not hard to see why, though," Kitty turned from the mirror to smile at Anna properly, "You're just such a lovely person. It's hard _not_ to like you."

"Thank you, that's very kind. But it's hard not to like you, either." _Now or never_, Anna thought. She spoke her next words very slowly and deliberately, "I mean, even Thomas likes you..._especially _Thomas..."

Kitty looked down at her hands where they lay in her lap for a moment. Looking back up at Anna determinedly, Kitty decided to get straight to the point.

"Just say whatever it is you want to say, Anna," she sighed wearily. It occurred to her that she should be angry but right now she just didn't have the energy for it.

"Please, don't be upset. We're just concerned for you, is all-"

"We? Oh, I suppose you mean Mrs Hughes," Kitty interrupted. "Well what do you want to know?"

"We just want to know that you know what you're doing, and that you know what you're getting into."

Kitty laughed without humour. "Oh I know what _I'm_ doing, for sure. But what I'm getting into? I have no idea! I can't read him, Anna. I don't know what any of this means to him," she looked sad for a moment and Anna suddenly realised just how Kitty must be feeling. Anna herself had gone through much uncertainty before she knew how things were between herself and her now-husband. For a moment, she contemplated telling her what Thomas had said to Miss O'Brien, but she decided against it. It wasn't for her to tell. She stood up from where she was sat on the bed and walked over.

"Maybe you should just talk to him, ask him?" she said kindly, putting a hand on the other woman's shoulder.

"I'm not sure if I want to, though Anna," Kitty mumbled.

"Surely it'd be better to know where you stand with him?"

Kitty looked up at her with an almost desperate look in her eyes and Anna saw tears brimming.

"Thing is, Anna, I've been here before..."

"Oh, Kitty," Anna responded, recognising a broken heart when she saw one, "What happened?"

Kitty hesitated. Contemplating, she stood up and walked to her bed, putting her cold feet under the covers. She looked up at Anna once more.

"You'd better sit down," she gestured to the foot of her bed, "I'm going to tell you exactly what happened..."

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><p><strong>AN: **So, we're about to learn about Kitty's history...mystery no.1 revealed.


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